I just got around to integrating this with the rest of my head. Didn’t Deeds used to write about a recurring memory or dream she had of her father carrying her down a very long hallway when she was little?
Edit: Found it.
I’ve been having the same dream for the past few weeks. I don’t even think it’s a dream. I’m pretty sure it’s a memory. I’m really young. Like 4 or 5 years old and I’m being carried.
I think it must be about my dad. It’s a man. It feels like it’s a dad. And there’s this hallway. And he’s carrying me down the long hallway to the far end. We get closer and closer and almost to the end and then I wake up.
According to the bits I’ve picked up from Monica my dad was gone either before I was born, or straight after (the story’s changed a bit over the years) so it can’t be him.
I guess it could be the same hallway, but it doesn’t mention it being cold or anything so maybe not. She mentions the dream again later to her lawyer and says she thinks it’s a memory.
While I’m free associating. Here’s her second mention of it and some other fun bits.
From: The Elusive Mr Wallace. – Deeds Done
I tried to engage with him by telling him what I can remember about my dad. I told him about the dream and that I’m pretty sure it’s a memory. The long hallway. I told him about a story dad always read to me. The tale of the ant and the caterpillar. (I remember I used to think he was saying “caterpillow.”) This seemed to snap him out of his catatonic state. He couldn’t believe I remembered that book. It must seem like that when you’re in your eighties, but my childhood wasn’t THAT long ago and my memory works fine Mr W!