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Sel’s Journal
So I’m not great at bios but here we go
My pronouns are she/her, I’m autistic, and a goth.
I’m a multifandom k-pop stan (mostly 2nd gen but I like to keep up with what’s new), ults are BIGBANG, EXO, and Dreamcatcher.
My biggest hobbies are baking and crochet, but I also cosplay and play dnd.
I really like fashion and makeup, so I expect I’ll post a lot of that here. Oh and my pets! I have both cats and dogs and I love taking photos of them. Idk I think it’ll be fun to invite the Mounties to see more glimpses into my everyday life
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27 Replies
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Mona (one of my cats) has started sleeping in the middle of my bed during the day. This isn’t normally an issue, but last night she wouldn’t get off even at 10pm.
If I moved her she’d just settle down again in the very center of my bed and glare at me! She’s still a little mad this morning. -
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OMG THOSE CHOPSTICKS ARE AMAZING WTH
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They’re great aren’t they? I have green ones too!
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I have the mace windu purple ones!
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I was just given 3kg of cream cheese by a friend whose restaurant can’t open due to covid. I thought
“Thats a lot of cheese but I can make good use of it!”
A CHEESECAKE USES LESS THAN A QUARTER OF MY SUPPLY THIS IS SO MUCH CHEESE WHAT DO I DO
I have a feeling every meal this month will have to be cheese based
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This won’t use a ton either, but my roommate made a french toast bake once that had a cream cheese layer…something like this though I don’t have her exact recipe (I think hers was a family recipe, not off the internet…hers was definitely heavy on blueberries also, not strictly french toast). It was definitely decadent for a breakfast food, but
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Ooh it looks so good!
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I throw a bit of cream cheese into crockpot soups and such – but that’s unlikely to really go through your stash too quickly.
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in the end, we used it up in brownies, stuffed chicken, bagels, cupcakes, and a cheesecake. But Dad wants to buy more so I can make a blueberry cheesecake this time.
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Yesterday I got my first dose of the covid vaccine. I hardly felt it at all but I slept for 16 hours straight afterwards and my arm is really sore today.
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So as some of you may know I’m trying to get disability benefits so I can live on my own, but a development occurred today that just frustrates me.
First things first, the government said they wanted me to do a few tests so they could know for sure I’m disabled. Sounds reasonable, I thought, but it turns out thier system is just about as inaccessible and frustrating as possible.
They said that someone would call me and tell me when I needed to show up for the testing. They did not say who would be calling or when, and so I spent a MONTH anxiously waiting for a phone call.
Today the call finally came, and the details are even more stressful than I thought they would be. There will be 2 full 8 hour days of testing, in a city 4 hours away from where I live. They are paying for my hotel but I can’t drive so naturally there will be a friend with me who can. They won’t pay for a room with 2 beds though.
Do they not realize many disabled people need help from a second person? This is a service for the disabled but it’s so inaccessible.
Also what if my disability caused fatigue? I’m fortunate enough that mime doesn’t but a long day of traveling, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, and then 2 full days of testing? This is not designed with accessibility in mind, and it’s FOR DISABLED PEOPLE!
Also if for some reason I can’t make it to the appointments, or I quit halfway through, that will hurt my chances of getting the support I need. So I need to walk a fine line between proving I’m disabled, and being capable enough to manage this exhausting course of tests. If I have a meltdown the morning of day 2 and can’t come to the appointment I’m screwed. Even though it would be my disability causing problems (which should prove that I need help), if I don’t finish all the tests, they will mark me down as not needing it since I apparently don’t care enough to put in the work.
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That’s so stressful
and absolutely counter-productive for all those reasons you mentioned. -
the heck. BC is totally different – all you have to do down here is submit some paperwork and they’ll ask some questions and then approve or deny you. Sounds like Alberta’s got different legislature in place.
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Thats usually the case, but I think because autism is so variable, they want to know for sure it’s “severe” enough to count as a disability (which is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish but) when one of my friends went through this process for a physical disability it went much faster.
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What a fine doggo! He looks so majestic!
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it just occurred to me that I may be living in a farming sim
My brothers fixed someone’s lawnmower so came home with a bunch of rhubarb.
I will make said rhubarb into a pie.
We will trade the pie to a man who has a welder, and he will fix our porch swing.
This week I will also be weeding a neighbor’s garden in exchange for zucchini.
I will make the zucchini into bread.
I will trade the bread to another neighbor in exchange for a teacup.
Are these not sidequests? Am I in a video game?
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The question is;
Who are you giving cave carrots to to romance them?
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Oh I’ve been approaching seduction entirely wrong! Time to find some carrots!
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It’s been a long time since I’ve been active, it’s been a stressful year.
The disability testing went well, and the results they sent to the government were that I do, in fact have a significant impairment.
The government then decided I did not qualify for benefits becasue my disability isn’t permanent.
I sent them a letter explaining that Autism Spectrum Disorder is, in fact permanent and they rejected me a second time becasue there’s the potential my autism may become “less severe” in the future.
I appealed this yet again and so that brings us to today. This evening I am going to bring over an entire armful of paperwork, doctor’s records, and scientific studies to the home of a trusted advocate, and we are going to sort out my best strategy for convincing the government officials that autism is permanent, and that my symptoms are unlikely to go away with time.
Tomorrow is the scary part. I will have to present my case over the phone, in a conference call, while the AISH director argues that I am not disabled enough to need the benefits. I have to convince 2 members of the AISH board, who will be listening in, that I really do need thier money and no autism does not fade with age. (Honestly I expect it’s more of a political decision so they don’t have to spend money on me rather than a science-based “sometimes lifelong developmental disabilities just dissapear”) thing. And did I mention my auditory processing is horrible?
This is my last opportunity to stand up for myself, and to try and secure a future. If i am rejected at this stage (which I will not know until several months from now at the soonest), I will not be permitted to apply again, and any applications I send will be thrown out, unless I develop a new, less controversial disability like a missing arm.
Idk I’m really fed up with this whole process and have lost most of my faith in this system that supposedly exists to help people like me. I’m not going to give up though. Tomorrow’s hearing is my last chance to make my case, to prove i need help, and exert some control over my future. I’m so anxious I can’t eat but I plan to fight hard for this chance at independence.
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Best of luck to you.
Regardless of the result you should be proud of yourself!
It takes a lot to go through the system normally, let alone when you’re fighting for every step. That you have fought and continue to does you a huge amount of credit.
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Thank you
I’ll do my best to remember that
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If I moved her she’d just settle down again in the very center of my bed and glare at me! She’s still a little mad this morning.
I made a 10 inch one and my family of 7 only managed to get through 2/3 of it after supper.
and absolutely counter-productive for all those reasons you mentioned. 
I’ll do my best to remember that